More Trans Americans Talk Transgender Day of Remembrance

Last Friday, I shared fourteen accounts from trans Americans about their thoughts on this recent Transgender Day of Remembrance. Trans Americans in 2025 continue to be the target of unprecedented attacks on their ability to exist in both public and private life. Since the story last week, mainstream news outlets continue to report regularly on trans women in sports. Meanwhile, according to the Trans Legislation Tracker, there are currently 506 active anti-trans bills under consideration in US legislatures.

So I wanted to hear from the people these news stories and laws actually impact. I talked to eight more trans people in America (and two trans people overseas with meaningful connections to the US) and asked them to reflect on what this TDOR meant to them.

Here’s what they told me:

Editor’s Note: Some quotes have been edited for clarity and length. Terms used to describe speakers’ genders were selected based on self-identification.

“I'm thinking about how I should have changed my birth certificate when I could have, since I changed my ID and passport to be female last year. I'm worried about my wife and what she'll go through if I get taken by the Gestapo — I mean ICE — or whatever. But also daydreaming of how nice it would be to go out a martyr … since I have a terminal illness anyway. And I'm wondering if I'll be able to get facial feminization surgery before my body breaks down too much more.”

— Ravenna, a transfem

“I'm just a guy who was born underdeveloped. All I want is to fix that and live a quiet and happy life, be treated the same as everyone else, and blend into the background.”

— Michael, a transsex man

“My feelings are definitely complicated. There's a mix of grief for the lives that were cut short, but also a grim sort of determination to keep going and make sure the people I care about don't have another name to grieve. There's also anger at the people going out of their way to harm trans people, as well as those who don't do enough to protect us.”

— Samantha, a nonbinary trans woman

“In so many ways, the paths we must travel are suffocating. It is an abhorrence how trivial our lives and struggles are portrayed and often mocked by those around us. This is a day of remembering. And I hope everyone I see today and everyone who reads this demands ten minutes of themselves to remember themselves. So often, we are our own worst enemies. We cut ourselves down because 'what if'. Because, 'I wish'. Because the dysphoria is so crippling that getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain. And yet, you are still here. You are a survivor of every worst day and thought you've ever had. You chose and actively choose every day that loving yourself just a little bit more than the pain of this world is worthwhile. And I am so proud of you.”

— Élise, an intersex trans woman

“380 days ago, I realized I am a transfem. That day, I cried for hours, after not having felt real emotions for years. I’ve gotten through this year by remembering them and ensuring their lives will not be forgotten.”

— River, a transfem

“I'm mainly thinking about the crackdown on trans healthcare in my state, and how it's changed my status of getting top surgery from having a surgeon's consultation done to having everything now completely inaccessible. I'm happy to be in a slightly more liberal area in my state, but I still mourn what I could have had if I had been even a year faster to get things scheduled. I'm also mourning my friends in-state who took their own lives after the state tried to ban all HRT (before it was walked back).”

— N, a trans man

“This trans mice meme feels very appropriate…”

— Remrie, a trans woman

“I wish more people cared about this day. So many lives have been lost due to hatred, so many of our [trans] siblings. I want a future where trans people are loved and celebrated, where we can just live in peace.”

— Athena, a trans woman

“We're feeling pretty helpless. We got married over there [in the US] in February 2024. I was supposed to move out there … We were together on the election night, and we knew that we were screwed. I haven't been back since because I don't even know if I'd be granted entry. People say it isn't safe to travel there … I'm honestly so fucking mad that the wind has been blown out of our sails. We're supposed to be together, but I just feel like we're dead in the water.”

— Charlie, a trans man

“Here in Alberta, we're dealing with a major attack on the trans community at the moment. I feel exhausted having to once again out myself as trans in order to fight the attack on the community since there isn't much out trans people here in ‘Canadian Texas’. I have trans kids in my family that need to be protected from the harm the UCP [United Conservative Party of Alberta] is causing for them just because the party is using this attack to hide all the scandals going on at the moment. I don't feel safe crossing the border to visit my chosen family in the US, especially not after having to deal with transphobic border agents a few years back.”

— Kael, a nonbinary trans man

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Special thanks to all of those who shared their contributions for this story.

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